Saturday, November 1, 2008

Does My Butt Look Big In This?

These were from about a year ago, mum made me wear these huge diapers to town with her and every time i moved the whole mall got a view of my wet diaper. Enjoy

Still Sick

I'm not much better today. I have slept for most the day and can't be bothered doing much else. I have been throwing up a lot, but haven't at all for the last six hours so hopefully that phase has past. The diarrhea is still very bad, i have had several more accidents like the first one, mum isn't too happy. I woke up this morning and i had poop squished on by back and in between my legs so mum had to wash the blankets. I'm not wearing any clothes except for a singlet otherwise i would just mess them up. It is still raining and i just hope it either stops or turns into snow soon. it usually has snowed by now, here in Canada. Mum says it should soon. I was getting really annoyed last night as all these trick or treaters came to our door and saw me. . .
Oh gosh! right now i am actually pooping my diaper as i type, it is really runny and warm, It is everywhere, all in my crotch and up my butt cheeks. i am peeing too. Shoot! It has gone everywhere, It is really warm, it's trickling down my butt cheeks, my poop is squishing out the back of my diaper, OK I'm peeing heaps now, it is collecting in puddles in my plastic pants. My plastic pants are going to start leaking soon. OK here they go, oops there's wee all over the floor. It's in a small puddle around me, it has a bit of poo in it too. Mum is upstairs, hopefully she won't come down until i finish this. am sitting in my mess now, it is pretty gross but i don't really care. I am in a bit of a mess. I think i actually might be getting sicker, i can hardly keep my eyes open and i am still weeing. Mum is on her way down the stairs, she is standing in front of me. I have to have a change now, she isn't going to let me stay all yuck.

Friday, October 31, 2008

A Bad Day

I had a really bad day today. I have had a stomach bug for the last couple of days, but i haven't been to ill to skip school, i have just been taking extra diapers. It poured with rain today (winter's on it's way!) and i was freezing. Adam and I sat in a little isolated corner of the school at recess and lunch time and drank hot chocolate. It was really sheltered where we were, even though it was outside, i drank heaps and heaps of hot chocolate and wet a lot of diapers, by the end of lunch i only had one spare diaper left and had used seven and was wearing one. The hot chocolate was extremely nice, and when i peed because of so much liquid, it warmed me up further. I lent Adam one of my diapers so he could wet too. We laughed at all the people who we could watch go by, shivering in the cold while we peed our diapers, felt the warm rush of liquid on our buts and crotch. My diaper leaked once in English, i excused myself and went to the bathrooms where i changed my diaper and stood, pant-less, drying my track pants. Because it was during class only one girl came in, she's one of the popular kids so she grabbed my perfectly dry diaper and poured the contents of a water bottle in it. I cried after she left and had to change again. I was soaked by the end of school, so i walked up to the main road and ducked into the mall toilets and changed again. It is quite a long walk home and i had to walk fast because of the cold, I was feeling extremely tired and figured i was definitely getting sicker as my head was throbbing.I was just turning into my street, which is about half a mile long, my house is three quarters of the way down. I felt this bad pain in my stomach and before i could stop it i began pooping my pants. It was of course my stomach bug kicking in. I had bad diarrhea and it was very quickly filling my diaper. I tried to keep walking as i pooped, it was near impossible as so much was coming out, but i managed. By the time my bowels had been emptied, my diaper was useless. I had poop smeared on my back and with each hasty step more slid down my legs. By the time i got home my shoes had splatters on them and i was crying.
David was there already when i walked through the front door, he smelt it as soon as he started up the front hall. He asked what had happened and i explained everything. I was really tired, and still unwell from my bug i just sat down, smearing my mess all over myself and letting my head flop forward. David picked me up and carried me up stairs, on the way i wet my diaper too, it leaked onto his shirt and made a stain mark. He didn't seem to notice though. He carried me into the bathroom where my changing mat was still out from this morning. He sat me down on it and pulled my shirt off first, and my singlet and then my pants. He grimaced at the smell, but kept going until i was nude except for my diaper. He told me to just stay lying down on the changing mat and he filled the bath with water and went and put my clothes in the wash. When he came back i was nearly asleep. I sat up and he pushed me back down. He pulled the tapes off my diaper, lifted my legs up and slid it way from me. He then offered me the choice of cleaning myself up or him doing it. I said i would, but then when i flopped back on the changing mat and peed everywhere he said he would just stay in the room, because i was too sick to be left alone. So he mopped up the puddle and helped me into the bath, where i scrubbed my but clean and my vagina and crotch area. David had also wiped down the changing mat. He finished washing me and helped me with my hair then lifted me out of the bath, wrapped a towel around me and emptied and cleaned the bath. He then got all of my stuff for a diaper change and he diapered like i needed for bed, first a dry night and then a Molicare, which he taped into place. He then put some plastic pants on me and stood me up. He sent me to my room to put some clothes on and I went and found a t-shirt which was a little bit small for me but i didn't mind. I couldn't be bothered putting on pants. David had set up some blankets on the couch and lit the fire. He gave me some more hot chocolate and sat me down on the couch with a book. I was too hot to go under the blankets so i just sat on the couch drinking and facing the door, watching the rain fall. The courier came to the door about ten minutes later, and he had a perfect view of me in my little t-shirt and massive, diapered butt. I cringed, as I was in the middle of taking a pee in my diaper. he stared at me while David signed off my next package of Molicares. He could see my white plastic pants slowly turning pail yellow, then i crapped myself again. It wasn't as bad as the first time but still. David finished with the courier and came and changed me again. he didn't bother with a bath, just sprayed my butt with the portable shower head. I threw up after that. When mum came home she was really really pleased with David and said thank you more times the i could count. I can't sleep and i have pooped my diapers two more times, I'm peeing an awful lot too, often it is the middle of mum changing me and i get her right on the shirt. I am sleeping on the couch tonight and typing this, I have taken a couple of pictures but can't be bothered downloading them all now. I'm too sick, maybe later.

Janie :(

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I managed to hold my pee in long enough to film this but at the end of it i had an accident.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My Diaper Bag

This is my diaper beg. I have had it with me since i was born. It used to be mum who carried it around with her, or left it with the school nurse. Now it is me. This diaper bag is strangely enough one of my favorite possessions. It is just so familiar to me and so comforting when i am in a strange place and in need of a diaper change. I can hold it close to my face if somebody who i don't know is changing me. It is also spacious enough to hold a fold away changing mat if i need it. Which is also really comforting when i have a stranger changing me. It is also really handy as it looks a bit like a beach bag or hand bag so nobody suspects much. I usually carry baby wipes, Diaper cream, baby powder and four to eight diapers. This picture was taken after i returned from school so there were only two out of eight diapers left.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Bed Wetting

I have met kids who claim they "Hate That Feeling Of Having A Full Bladder When You Wake Up." I personally think that it's time they woke up and realized that they're pretty lucky. If they hate that feeling than they probably couldn't survive being me. Rather than a full bladder, I have a wet and soggy diaper, sometimes messy too. It sags around my legs and makes my thighs sticky with pee. I can hardly walk with it in the mornings, it forces my legs apart and i waddle down the hall to the bathroom, pee trickling down my little legs, where mum comes to change me. If i am having a bad day, and we have no Molicare Diapers left, then i just where a Dry Nights. By the time morning swings around my bed will be soaked and my white sheets stained yellow. The feeling of wet all around me is horrible, it's cold and harsh, not warm and gentle like it is when I first wet the bed. My Pajamas are wet too, and smell stale, like rotting fruit. They cling to my legs and rub up against my stomach, chilling me all over. Sleepovers are terrible, rather than looking forward to them, I dread them. It means pulling three or four Dry Nights on to hold in the leeks without a Molicare. It means risking waking up with a wet bed, or a messed diaper, or having every one see my over sized butt through my Pajama pants and crinkling every step i take. When the sleep overs are at my house it means to hear the plastic protective sheet crunch every time I move, to have mum come in and smell my diaper at various intervals throughout the night. It's pretty awful stuff, any bed wetter could tell you so themselves. When my sheets are sopping and my diaper rash is at it's worst. I question the value of my diapered life.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Days

As a primary school kid i would walk around the school grounds with only my satchel. Each hour i would report to the nurses office regardless of whether or not i had wet my diaper. The school nurse would gently change it with the products my mother supplied. It was a long way from school to home. By the time i was eight i was catching the school bus and walking for twenty minutes afterward. it took me an hour in total, usually by the time i got home, i was soaked. Mum didn't get home until an hour after me, and David, my brother came home between mum and myself. He would change me the moment he got home. School was a bit of a nightmare when i was young. other students figured out the reason for my padded butt and my departure each hour. they depantsed me many a time in the play ground. They ripped my diapers off sometimes, made me stand there until i wet my pants. They used to pressure me into messing my diaper too. Teachers didn't do a lot for me. It was almost as if they too were afraid of the cool kids. They didn't want to be seen helping a kid that wasn't popular. I had doctors appointments every week when i was little. My first operation was when i was seven years old, it was to pull the mussels and nerves around my bladder tighter, to help me hold my pee in. It was a failure, in every way. My bladder got no better, and i was unwell for weeks after. My wetting even got worse at times, the general anesthetic was terrible. I went through another surgery the same as that last year, it still has had no effect. In between the two surgeries i also underwent kidney surgery, in the hope that the problem could be there. I now have three large scars on my back and stomach, and still the same old problem. I only wet my diapers, there is no reason that i should mess them, except for the times when i just don't make it, or i mess and wet at the same time by accident. In some ways, diapers are useful, I don't have to worry about wetting myself or bed, i am protected against it. I haven't had my period yet but when i get it, i won't have to worry about stained underwear.

I'm in Junior High now. I guess you could say that things are better. I carry around a diaper bag, rather than the school nurse changing me. I wear Dry Nights Pyjama Pants at school, that way i can slip them on and off when i need a change, i can wipe myself with baby wipes, rub some lotion on and pull some diapers on. I tend do this every class, i have a note that excuses my lateness, when i do in between classes. My diaper bag is what most my classmates know as my sports bag. It zips closed with two zips and i have padlocked them together. Dry Nights have such a discreet design that even when i am wearing skin tight jeans, nobody gets the slightest view of my diapered butt, except for what is visible from above my trousers waist line. Or for when my diaper leeks.
A leaky diaper is my worst nightmare, every body can tell you're wearing a diaper by this time, as the bulk pushes your pants out, and the wet line, is the shape of a diaper. You might ask how this happens, how come I don't change it after one wetting? There are times when i am caught without enough diapers to last me through the day. when after five or six wettings, and no diapers left in my diaper bag i have to go again, letting the pee soak through the pulpy diaper and wet my pants.
Now i walk home from school, a half hour walk. It may take a little while but it is better than sitting, wet, on a bus full of teenagers. In summer, i will swing my diaper bag from my arm, sweating in the mid September heat, shorts giving away most my diapers, and me not caring. In summer, i wet my diaper twice as much, i drink more water, i wet more diapers. In summer at school everybody can tell i am diapered, they are too self centered to care though. Even when i have messed my diaper by mistake, and it reeks, they just walk past, iPods in their ears, sunglasses on their heads. In summer, at home during the break. I find it is too hot to wear any thing besides my diaper and a bikini top. I wear water diapers, i take private swimming lessons and the coach doesn't comment. In summer there are endless days of me lying out by the paddling pool, nosy neighbors staring at me, in my soaking diapers, i am usually too hot to bother with changing them, they will have leaked onto my towel by mid morning, by mid afternoon if mum isn't around to change me, they will have formed a large puddle on the patio, i will have messed them too, poop pressed up against my waist and crotch.

Winter is different, i am bundled up warm as i wade through snow on the walk home. My diapers giving me extra warmth and making my already padded butt look bigger. my gloved fingers clasp my diaper bag close to me. The cold will sometimes take me by surprise, i wet myself, or even mes myself suddenly, i have to duck into a nearby public toilet, peel off my layers of clothes and change again. I sit inside all winter, next to the fire, my diaper often dry, when i am inside. Mum will hold me, despite my continuous growing, though i am still small. When i get a winter virus, i lay in bed all day, mum takes the day off too. She changes me every so often, knowing that when i am sick, my diaper will be a source of bacteria, my diaper rash will worsen and i will cry.
Some days, mum will ring me on my phone, coming home from school, informing me that we have no diapers left at home. I use my pocket money and walk, nervously into the convenience store and pull the adult diapers, size small from the shelve, i take them to the cashier, who in summer can see my wet diaper, she looks at me strangely and rings the diapers up for me, putting them in a clear plastic bag and sending me on my way, where i quickly stuff them into the depths of my locked diaper bag. I wear Dry Nights to school and at home i wear Molicare size small, at night because i wet a lot, i wear a dry night and Molicare and plastic pants. I also have cloth diapers for special occasions. Mum said that if she should be allowed to wear nice underwear when a spacial happening occurs than so should i.
I have a normal group of friends at school, they think i just have a week bladder and use period pads just in case, i guess that that is the message i have put across to them. My real best friend is a boy called Adam. He is really great, and knows all about my secret, he is like my boyfriend i guess, because he has seen me in the nude, he has even changed me before. Diapers sought of change everything for me, If the teachers at my school had it their way, i would be at a school for disabled kids. Luckily i am not. A year or so ago i was browsing the internet and i came across these awful pages on teenage babies and diaper lovers, i thought they were so gross and disgusting the kids like me actually used diapers because they liked them. But then i looked a bit more and found stories of kids who had to wear diapers and hated them, but then started to like them. I don't mind diapers at all that much any more, though it is a real hassle to wear them twenty four seven.